


A Promise in the Dark

by ForgottenAngerCourter



Category: Saw (Movies)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Psychological Trauma, Saw: The Final Chapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-29 07:44:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18774301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForgottenAngerCourter/pseuds/ForgottenAngerCourter
Summary: Lawrence knew that fairy tales didn’t exist in the real world, and that the sight that awaited him was going to break his mind. He knew that what he hoped to see would never come to pass, no matter how much he begged God.But he still had to do this.





	A Promise in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> This story only deals with Lawrence Gordon’s character, and so the only movies referenced in this story are #1 and #7. 
> 
> If you aren't caught up on the other parts of the story, no worries :)

He made a promise to someone, but he was unable to keep it.

Well… actually that wasn’t quite correct.

In fact, he had spent years trying to fulfill this promise- even past the point where he knew that it was far too late for his efforts to mean anything. This obsession of his, to keep his promise- it was illogical. Insane even.

Because of this obsession, he had allowed his torturer (the person who had ruined his life) to continue on with his sadistic games.

He had even helped him.

When John **-the Devil, he was the DeViL-** asked for medical advice, or help in choosing his victims, or even when he needed someone to physically help mutilate his victims- he helped without hesitation.

Ever since Lawrence had left the Room, he'd felt detached from the world.

Other.

His wife left him soon after reuniting with him, and while he still loved his daughter and made it a point to see her as often as he could- he couldn’t help but feel dirty when he looked at Diana. Her innocence made him him not want to taint her with his _filth,_ because he wasn’t a good man- let alone an innocent one.

He mutilated people, sent others to their deaths, and he knew in his heart that he was just as much of a monster as John- because he felt no remorse for his actions.

There was only one thing in this entire world that made him feel remorse- made him feel something like anguish and guilt. And today was the day that he was finally going to be able to fulfill the promise that haunted his every waking moment.

Years of service to helping John had finally paid off, and he had received the payment he had demanded in exchange for his help.

Jill brought him the video. The video where John finally revealed the information that he had kept hidden from him- the information that would allow him to finally fulfill his promise.

Lawrence knew in his heart that it was was too late, and had debated endlessly with himself over the years to try and break his obsession with the Room- but he couldn’t.

He couldn’t, because his heart refused to forget those scared brown eyes, and the desperate voice that begged him not to leave.

He had promised that he would come back for Him. He had **promised**.

And now Lawrence stood outside the door that had once been his gateway out of hell, and found that his hands were shaking around his cane.

He gripped it tightly, and then swiftly moved forward to open the door, because He had waited long enough-

Far too long.

Lawrence knew what laid behind this door. He knew that fairy tales didn’t exist in the real world, and that the sight that awaited him was going to break his mind. He knew that what he hoped to see would never come to pass, no matter how much he begged God.

But he had to do this.

He had promised Adam.

And so Lawrence walked into the Bathroom and reached for where he knew the light switch was, the smell of decay heavy in his nose.

It was Zep.

Lawrence wished it was only Zep.

His eyes had instinctively looked to where he knew Adam would be, where he had patiently waited for Lawrence to come back for him.

To rescue him.

In the damning fluorescent light of the Bathroom, Lawrence felt his entire body crumble into itself when he made out Adam’s stained white shirt and ripped jeans.

His shaking hand lost its grip on his cane, and he crumbled to the floor even as he started screaming. His eyes shed the tears he had thought himself now incapable of forming, and he crawled foreword just as he had all those years ago, ignoring the other bodies that were not worthy of a glance let alone his time.

Oh God, Adam…

Lawrence's hands reached out to touch him, to caress his cheek even as he hiccuped on his sobs and his vision blurred to the point that he could not longer make out the decay on Adam’s face.

John had outright stated that Adam was dead in the video.

 _What did I expect?_ Lawrence berated himself even as he leaned foreword to press his forehead against the molted skin of Adam’s forehead.

John was such a manipulative liar.

He claimed to have no secrets left, and yet he hadn’t told him who had killed Adam.

_He could have died waiting for you._

Lawrence would have an autopsy done for his friend, for one of the only two people in this world he could still care about.

“Adam… ” _I’m so sorry._

Lawrence curled around the corpse of the man he had not deserved to know. A good man who had made bad decisions, but still saved him even after he had tried to kill him.

_It could have been the blood loss._

“I came back too late- **Adam** … ”

Lawrence had crawled across poisoned blood to cradle Adam- young, _beautiful_ , **sweet** Adam- in his arms, in order to calm him down, assure him that he would get help. That he would come back.

“I'm too late... ” _How long did you wait for me? How long did you sit in the dark and scream for me, beg me to come back?_

“I failed you baby- I didn’t deserve you, you didn’t deserve this, baby please wake up.”

Lawrence Gordon was an incredible doctor. He knew that Adam’s skin would not suddenly grow back, and that his eyes wouldn’t shed their dead sheen and return to their panicked and trusting brown.

He _knew_ that.

But for four years he had obeyed John. His ex-patient had an uncanny way of looking into the hearts of people, and so it wasn’t a surprise to find that he knew exactly what weak point to press when Lawrence was lying on a cot, snarling like an animal and trying to claw his eyes out.

“I have moved you to a different location, Doctor Gordon.”

He hadn’t understood the significance of that sentence, until those calm blue eyes met his beast-like gaze and he continued on in his calm and quiet tone as if he was merely commenting to a stranger about the weather.

“To a place far from the Bathroom, and the man still trapped inside it.”

Lawrence’s blood had frozen in his veins, and his face had paled as he stared up at the **DEViL** above him… and registered exactly what he was implying.

_Don’t leave me- please don’t leave me!_

“Adam-”

“He is currently alive, though he will not be for long.”

And just like that, Lawrence made a deal with the devil- even though he knew that this devil would never give him what he truly needed.

He was too useful.

The days stretched on to months, and after two years had passed, Lawrence knew in his heart that Adam was already dead.

He had failed him.

But he couldn’t stop- he couldn’t go to the police and turn John in, because that psychopath still had the information that he needed.

Even if he couldn’t save Adam- he couldn’t just leave him there alone.

Lawrence buried his face in Adam's filthy white shirt that was covered in decaying skin and dried blood, and quietly mourned his friend.

Adam didn’t deserve to die here, alone, waiting for a foolish **_disgusting_ **liar to save him.

He didn’t deserve to have his corpse rot in an abandoned Bathroom, never to be discovered or buried.

He didn’t deserve to be forgotten.

Lawrence had looked to see if he could find any of Adam’s family, friends- someone who he could talk to apologize to-

But there was no one.

There was no one in this entire world who remembered Adam Stanheight. There was no one else in this world who mourned him.

But Lawrence would mourn him, remember him. He would give Adam a proper burial in a beautiful place- a place on a hill, with a good view. Maybe out in the country? He knew for a fact that his friend had never left New Jersey before.

Maybe he would prefer being cremated? Lawrence had to admit that he was tempted, if only so he could keep Adam next to him, always, safe.

He would have taken Adam all over the world; anything Adam could have wanted or asked for, Lawrence would have fought tooth and nail to get it for him- fuck the consequences.

If Adam had asked him to burn the world, he would have struck the match without hesitation. If he had asked Lawrence to cut off his other leg, Lawrence would have done it.

He owed him that.

Adam deserved the world.

Adam deserved to be happy.

Adam deserved to spend his every waking moment pampered, loved, and protected from all the _filth_ of this world.

But Adam was dead.

 

 

After a few hours, Lawrence was finally able to extract himself from Adam, and reach for the bag that he had brought along with his cane. He pulled out the key that had been included with the videotape, and smiled a bitter smiled as he unlocked the rusted manacle that was still around Adam’s leg.

Lawrence took a moment to mourn the fact that he only had one leg as he stood up and silently apologized for what he was about to do.

Lawrence balanced his cane against the wall, and reached out to pick up Adam.

He was so light, why, why did he have to be so light…

He settled him across his shoulder in an undignified fireman carry, and grabbed his cane before limping out of their personal hell on Earth.

_I promised to come back for you Adam._

_But I came back too late._

_Forgive me…_

 

_Don't leave me, no, no No! Lawrence!_

 

**_Lawrence!_ **

 

_Don’t…_

 

_Please don’t leave me…_

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fanfic, because I wanted to explore Lawrence Gordon as a character, because I admit to being disappointed with Lawrence’s reaction when confronted with the Bathroom again- and to justify his reaction, I couldn’t help but wonder if that was the first time he had been there, and then this fanfic idea hit me straight in the face and I had to write it.  
> Because I wanted to know why Lawrence started helping Jigsaw, and I wanted to know WHY John kept the Bathroom’s location as blackmail against him- 
> 
> And this fanfic explains what I think really happened. 
> 
> I love Adam  
> I really do, and I forgot just how much I loved him until I decided to try reading some Saw fanfics out of curiosity- and to my complete surprise, Lawrence and Adam were the #1 ship. I read a few because I had never thought of them as a couple before, and got hooked immediately.  
> I ship them now- but this fanfic can be read as either romantic or platonic, because I believe that it really could go either way in cannon- because Lawrence never got the chance to find out if they could've become more than friends.


End file.
